KiNG feat. Niki Black - Confession On Black Love (pt 1)

from by KiNG

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Dedicated to Allen Johnson & the riot in silence that is Oakland


My mom warned me
loving a black man
is choosing to
love the bait inside
a lions den

Implied it is
against natural
selection or
evolution for
me to choose
the thing that
proves it will
only keep dying

It is Valentine's Day
When Allen loses his phone
And I remember that
as beautiful and black
with hazel eyes
and the quick widd it
way he can code switch
It will never stop a
police officer from deciding
he can play God in Oakland

And there is already
a riot brewing there

A silent genocide
renamed gentrification

but I know
it won't stop
a loud murder
from happening

And I know I don't
want to be my mother's
daughter, a lesson on
how fear of my own blackness
can hollow me a fake full

But I cry on Valentine's Day
Let my friends think I'm
being "that needy girl"
And maybe this is
a kind of neediness
I never wanted to
know I possessed

I am crying
not because
I don't trust him
but because I don't trust
other people around him
Because I've seen how
a cop's siren turns wolf music
How a cop's siren becomes
a beast awakening
I am terrified of him
becoming a silver platter
With skin proving
he is the son of a crow
yet he is still so
unapologetically joyful
singing every negro spiritual

He is the first black man
I chose to love after
trying to find survival
in white men
because my mother
taught me that was
the easiest way for
my future children
to escape a
Hell's unleashing

She convinced me I was
a science experiment
50% white
50% black
Hypothesis: If
my daughters
great granddaughters
Fuck enough white men
into new generations
will we be safe?
will natural selection
be a rule that finally
doesn't apply to us?
will a bullet forget to
hunger for our skin or our name?

I chose loving him
as spitting in the face
of a God that still lets
this kind of trauma be normal
I said "fuck you" to science
when I kissed him
Said: "here let me be
bait inside the den
since my father made
me a half lion anyways
I know I can make it
out better alive than you"

And why does love
or blackness or both
always have to be about
making it out alive?

Why does knowing
he could become a disappearing
act turn me into a field of fire?
I would become so angry with him
if he went more than 6 hours
without talking to me

Called it everything
but I just don't want to
get that phone call
where you become another
chalk lined Angel on
another street corner left
for the vultures picking

Baby, none of this
was irrational

Can you understand that
maybe I just imagine religion
and science play chess in
the sky and I need to know
you are not their pawn today

I need to know that
you are still here
And you are
still black
And you are
still breathing today
I need to know
that my mom -
I just wanna know
that my mama
was wrong about
all of this, Allen

I just need to know
that my mom was
wrong about this
about all of this
But Imma sing
Imma sing
with him
Imma sing
Imma sing
with him


from B A P T I S M, released August 15, 2016
Produced By: Billy Burke, Niki Black, Amanda Lipski, and KiNG
Written By: KiNG
Vocals/Piano: Niki Black



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KiNG Los Angeles, California

Los Angeles. 22. Petty Ass Poet. Community Builder. Intellectually Ratchet. Perpetually "in my feelings."

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